10 things Video games taught me about women...

You know, often times I’m stopped on the street by one of my thousands upon thousands of admires and asked ‘how is it you are so good with the ladies chad?’

I then swiftly turn to them and reply ‘Video games my boy’ everything I learned about women I learned through Video games….
Allow me to share these 10 SUREFIRE tips to help you find the real world girl of your virtual dreams…


Lesson 1: good looks are one thing, but women like a man who can kill things, preferably with swords equal to or twice the size of their own body.



Lesson 2: If Rpg’s have taught me anything its that every attractive woman in the Game world will find you attractive so long as you are either

A. a bright eyed young hero who believes in the over all good of mankind
or
B. a brooding lone wolf who believes friendship is an illusion and emotions only lead to later pain(physical scars are a definite plus)



Lesson 3: Women like to be treated like the helpless damsels in distress they really are. If at any point a woman runs off with determination and attempts to do something on her own, rest assured she will later need your help to bail her out regardless of how skilled she was prior meeting you.



Lesson 4: If you ever come across a female who is un attractive, chances are she’s either evil or not important to the plot (feel free to ignore her and not exercise your dialogue options.)

Lesson 5: However, if you come across a female who IS attractive then chances are she’s either a hero or is an evil henchman who will eventually attempt to seduce you (either way it’s win-win baby!)



Lesson 6: Women love it when you stand up to their dad…



Lesson 7: The love of your life will probably be Japanese.



Lesson 8: If (hypothetically) you should ever come across an Alien species with two legs then chances are sexual relations are possible so go for it! (bonus points if she’s blue)



Lesson 9: If a woman ever seems to dislike you when you first meet…perhaps dislikes your loose morals, or finds you naive then chances are she will fall madly in love with you in approximately 8-30 hours time (so hang in there)



Lesson 10: When scouting a room full of many different women and trying to decide who to introduce yourself to. Pick the one with the most inappropriate, highly revealing, borderline slutty outfit, because chances are she’s willing to join your party.